If I had a daughter I would tell her only one thing about love. There is nothing ordinary about love. It is pure magic.The best of it cannot be explained with words.
She will meet a boy in school who will be much older than her. She will think that he is a Greek god with no flaws. As the first leaves of puberty flutter from the trees of life she will gape at him and wonder if he is “the one”. He will seldom spare her a second look, but a glimpse of his face would be enough inspiration to fill her books with poetry. She will dream of exchanging wedding vows with him and for a girl who told her mother almost every painful detail of her life, this would be the first time she learns to keep a secret. He will eventually graduate and if she is lucky, he will probably get to know her name. If she is not, they will cross paths in a crowded street years later and she will look at him with same awe. He will walk past her not knowing that once upon a time he was the center of her universe. As a mother, you will find out about the pseudo-celebrity crush the first day she combs her hair for a little longer. The twinkle in your daughter’s eyes will keep you from warning her that she will never talk to her crush, let alone walk down the aisle with him.
She will grow up and cry her eyes out the first day she has to wear braces to school and decide that she is never going to have her first kiss. Her biggest problem in life will be that unpleasant brat who makes fun of her. He will find fault with almost anything she does. The way she walks, the way she writes, the way she wears her hair and the way she smiles. You will try to tell her that life will go on, but she won’t listen to you. A day will come much later in life when she cries her eyes out and tells you that she prefers her ugly braces to a broken heart. And you will hug your little girl and wonder why you cannot protect her all the time. Yet, you will let her make her own choices in life, just to see her eyes twinkle.
The day will soon come when she eagerly picks out her first lip gloss because all her friends wear it. Suddenly nothing is too good for your baby. Her hair is frizzy, she is too fat and she cannot understand when her mother says that she is too young to shape her eyebrows. No matter how many clothes she changes or ear-rings she tries on she will breathe a heave of “sigh”. You will smile and want to tell her that one day she will be a beautiful woman who will have way too many choices, but she won’t believe you anyway.
And then, the brat who made her childhood miserable will suddenly act all grown-up.He will tell her that her eyes are beautiful and that her smile lights up his life. She will fall in love with him. They will become inseparable and her friends will say that “he is the one”. She will joke to you about meeting your future son-in-law. You will know that she is not joking because you can see her eyes twinkle, just like yours did many years ago and your heart will want to tell her that this is never going to happen. You will want to stop your daughter from getting hurt, but you will keep quiet because nothing is worth destroying the twinkle in her eyes. Somewhere in between the hand-holdings and long walks, they will discover that life does not end with high school and realize that it in fact starts right there. And even when they go separate ways and never see each other again, she will fondly refer to him as her childhood sweetheart. And what a good thing you kept quiet! Her eyes will twinkle every time she thinks of him and you will cherish that twinkle forever.
And then she will go to college and be in a hurry to grow up. “Take it slow” you will want to tell her, but that doesn’t matter. She is not going to listen to you now. Her dresses are either “too-short”, “too-flimsy” or “too-expensive”. She will meet a boy who reminds her of the Greek god she had a crush on when she was a little girl. Except, this time, he will give her all the attention she wants. She will kiss him with passion and adore him. You will secretly know that he is not worth her first kiss, but you will keep quiet at the sight of her eyes twinkling. One day she will cry her eyes out and tell you that she wants to be your little girl again. You will know that he probably cheated on her or left her, but you will know better than to ask her “What happened?” You will patiently wait for her sad eyes to twinkle again.
A few months later, she will start smiling again. She will bring a boy and casually tell you that he is her friend. Of course you know better! She will not praise him excessively neither will she talk about how extraordinary he is. She will just not be able to stop talking about him. She will make passing remarks about how he reminds her of dad. She won’t bother wearing make-up when she goes out with him. She will not feel embarrassed when she gobbles up an entire pizza with extra cheese and he laughs at her for being a glutton. She will wear her oldest pair of shorts and sit with him and have pointless arguments that go on for hours. This is when you start panicking This is after all your clue to knowing that your little one is falling hard. You want to warn her to be careful, but you also want to cherish the twinkle in her eyes for a little longer and you keep quiet anyway.
You will find her thinking deeply once in a while and you will want to say “He is probably the one, don’t worry too much!”. But, you will keep quiet because you know that life can be uncertain.
She will act cool all the time you meet him, but you can see her eyes silently pleading as if they were saying “Please like him, mom”. And one day, she will come to you, with a ring in her hand. You will try your best to act surprised. And you will succeed too. Because nothing is worth spoiling the twinkle in her eyes.
For all the times you decided to keep quiet because her eyes twinkled so much, you will tell her only one thing and hope that this advice keeps her going through life “There is nothing ordinary about love. Believe in magic each time!”